I seem to be one of the few people in my circle of friends and family not to be a fan of the Channel 4 programme, Grand Designs. Sure, it’s a cut above the usual celebrations of real-estate avarice, such as Property Ladder and the noisome Location, Location, Location (or is it now Relocation, Relocation, Relocation?) And it’s several light years ahead of RTE’s dismal contributions to/rip-offs of the genre, such as Househunters in the Sun (basically couples looking to splurge their SSIAs on a villa in Bulgaria).

You see, Grand Designs gets away with its format by pretending that it’s not really about grubby property investment but is actually focused on the loftier concerns of architecture. So there’s some superficial flim-flam about Bauhaus or Art Deco and mini-lectures on appropriate materials, particularly eco-friendly materials. Yet, to me, these high-minded interests serve similar purposes to, say, Frank McDonald’s articles in the Irish Times property section or the pious warbling of Duncan Stewart in some borderline infomercial shown on RTE1: they are merely fans and feather-boas designed to tease the salivating audience while the contours of some suburban Xanadu are slowly revealed.