‘Sweet Sufferin Jayzus!’ as this Monkey is prone to utter at moments of wide-eyed disbelief.

A tense Quiz show studio holds its breath. The question is asked – “What rite would one use to expel demons?”. Furrowed brows from the two contestants, chemicals firing blindly across brain synapses, until Fr. Giorgio* surges for the buzzer (to the consternation of Fr. Mario). Smiling exultantly over his dog-collar, Fr. Giorgio pronounces ‘exorcism’ to studio applause.

All serious, and not a craggy island in sight. Spotted last night on Italian prime time t.v. Another classic question for our competing clerics – “Constantine is remembered for halting the persecution of what group?”. I waited patiently to see if they’d slip in a “Who is the son of God?” question, but presumably the risk was too high that the contestants might fluff the answer.

Mother of God…

*Names have been changed – after all, it’s a serious offence to ridicule a priest in Italy