Living in the European Union, I’m concerned for one group of working Italians who may have difficulties in the international labour market, given that they seem unaware of the general codes of practice that pertain to their sector outside Italy. So, in a hopefully humble gesture of European solidarity, this monkey offers some tips to Italian news journalists (across all the networks).

1) If your news report needs atmospheric music accompanying it in the background – it’s not news, but melodrama (look it up).
2) It’s not obligatory to carry every public utterance by his Holiness, Pope Benny. Don’t worry – in the unlikely event that an Italian Catholic is unsure what the papal view on a topic may be, he/she can consult the pope’s own radio, tv shows, newspaper, or (God Forbid) one’s priest. A simple litmus test can be carried out on Ratzi’s newsworthiness. If he’s said it a thousand times before, it probably ain’t news.
3) Giving the microphone to a politician to pronounce a statement, followed closely by giving it to one of his opponents to respond is not an example of fair and balanced reporting. Balanced it may be – news reporting it ain’t.

4) and finally, flying one of your ‘reporters’ to Barcellona to bring us all the latest developments on mobile phone technology, and finishing the report with a to-camera gushing appraisal of one particular brand of phone, presented not even by the reporter but by a marketing executive of said brand, ain’t news. It’s an ad.

Hope that helps.