A character called Jakub Sosnowski has gone into business in Poland selling cog notes for ignoramuses. That is: you pay him and he tells you what such and such a book is about or what such and such a record is like. In this way you can shine at social gatherings to which you have been invited thanks to your stupendous new wealth rather than your depths of culture and sophistication.

Irish writer Flann O’Brien was on to this back in the 1920s or 30s. He offered a book-reading service. For a fee he would so mangle a book as to make it look like you had actually read it. For a higher fee he would underline passages, break the spine, add comments in the margins…

O’Brien was satirising snobbery but there is no suggestion that Sosnowski is anything other than a businessman. But save your money. If you want to know what to think of, for example, this year’s “Nike” award winner, Traktat o łuskaniu fasoli (Treatise on Shelling Beans) by Wiesław Myśliwski you can always avail of the services of myself.