Underwear in Poland is knotted up to all hell in connection with the upcoming 20th anniversary celebrations of the defeat of communism. Prime minister Tusk invited some other East – sorry central – European leaders to a shindig in Gdańsk, where it all began but the trade union spoilsports decided to hold a protest there on the same day so Tusk did the statesmanlike thing and turned tail, bolting to Kraków for fear that other East – sorry central – European leaders might be exposed to the shocking sight of workers protesting, which was supposed to have ended – oh – twenty years ago, all of which is being exploited by the opposition (PiS, not KOR), with primesident Kaczyński promising a visit to Gdańsk and an awfully awfully important debate on the telly tonight between Tusk and somebody else what with European elections coming up and Palikot and Pitera and Ziobro and Róża Thun and it’s all very complicated so I’ll get straight to the point:

They’ve invited Kylie Minogue to celebrate the anniversary. Minogue has – like Madonna and Spinal Tap – reinvented herself so often that it might be worth reminding younger readers what she sounded like around the time the Polish working class was overthrowing communism:

She’s appearing with the Scorpions (“The Winner Change”). I hate to be a snob but the Polish for classical music is “muzyka poważna,” which means literally “serious music.” Could they not have got something a little more poważna?