Three Monkeys Online

A Curious, Alternative Magazine

Walter knows his chickens

So the post-mortem sets in, with the ‘extreme’* left wiped out in this election. They’re blaming the ‘moderate’ PDs, who were undoubtedly the main challengers to Berlusconi. The theory is, put simply, that PD leader Walter Veltroni’s strategy of excluding them from any possible coalition consigned them to the wasted vote category – meaning that plenty of their traditional vote went to the PD’s. An accusation the PDs are, understandably eager to shake off, given that they’ve failed to win the election, or to even win enough of a presence to make life difficult for Berluska.


We’ll debate the merits of the argument in the coming days. For the moment, though, this monkey wants to ponder the effects of broken english, because the real election defeat – that of the PD party, who notwithstanding their shiny new logo stems from a partial understanding of anglo-saxon mores.

Veltroni based his campaign around the idea that his party was bringing something new to Italy, something imported from more developed countries (The US and UK – where centuries of democratic tradition, poorly lacking in Italy, have managed to produce Bush and Blair goverments. Go figure). His importation, to some, seemed a little bit like those cheap chinese imitations so loathed by the Italian luxury goods market – particularly so when he made his main campaign slogan ‘si puo fare’, a barely veiled lift from Obama’s ‘Yes we can’.

The problem, though, apart from the fact that lifted slogans and imported dogma’s (to be modern, and decidedly third-way-ish you absolutely must build a nuclear reactor) highlight a singular lack of imagination, is that Veltroni’s grasp of the language in which he was speaking was partial – to say the least. And we’re not talking about his grasp of English here, although when he made a key appearance on Bruno Vespa’s top rated current affairs program and chummily joshed with his host, ” as they say in English, ‘I know my chickens'” it had this monkey perplexed. No, the real problem was in the language of democracy, modernisation, and reform that he spouted, like an old-fashioned evangelist speaking in tongues.

Because most of the self-criticism that has come out today from Veltroni’s ‘loft’ 9the party’s hip Web 2.0 style headquarters) has focussed on the poor record of Prodi’s government, of the lack of time to put forward their message, of the fact that in the last fifteen years every outgoing government in Italy has lost. No suggestion that the brand spanking new party has made serious mistakes, and reaped the rewards of short-sighted policies.

The party that lectured the public about the importance of bringing forward more women candidates (something which they did do, at lower levels), managed to have just one in a list of seven candidates for the primaries which chose Veltroni as party president.

The party that has cast a protective net around the term ‘democratic’ managed to put forward Veltroni and a number of never-stood-a-chance opponents in the self-same primaries. There was not one person in Italy in doubt that Veltroni would be president of the party.

The same party, when requested by its membership to hold primaries to decide on the candidates for the election were told that there simply wasn’t enough time. Presumably the same reason why, despite much hectoring on ‘responsibility’ and ‘ethics in politics’ the PD’s managed to include 18 candidates with criminal records. Not, perhaps, the greatest sign that you’re interested in weeding out corruption.

And the rub here is that, when Prodi’s government fell, nobody gave Veltroni’s party a chance of winning. Berlusconi stood at least ten points ahead in most polls (even ones not conducted by himself!), and there would be few that would lay the blame of an election defeat on the PD’s doorstep. This is another way of saying that this was the best time there could ever have been to bring forth those sweeping reforms so much talked about. They could have been bold. They could have refused to candidate anyone with serious charges of corruption in their past. They could have decided that 50% of their candidates must be women. They could have, and any evenutal defeat would have been accepted as just the start of things (something they’re trying to spin as we speak).

Finally, let’s deal with Veltroni himself – a good and vibrant communicator, notwithstanding his chicken-english. Veltroni presented himself as a new face in Italian politics, despite the fact that he’s already served as deputy prime-minister, and has been involved in the various morphing Italian left-wing parties for over twenty years. Again, a misunderstanding in terms, it would seem. When Obama presents himself as a new choice for American President, it’s because he is – regardless of the merits of his candidacy, there has never been an African-American President. There’s nothing new about Veltroni, apart from his website.

Today Veltroni announced that the PD’s, following the tradition of the great western democracies (Just the UK this time, it would seem) would be forming a shadow cabinet. An interesting development in Italian politics, and one this monkey welcomes – at least if it gives an idea of who the real cabinet will be, if the party is ever elected to government (something unlikely, based on their incapacity to react to voters).

Another nice practice would be for Veltroni to immediately announce new primaries to choose the leadership of the party. Not that I’d like to see someone else in Veltroni’s place – despite the half-arsed measures thus presided over, something tells me that given a chance he’ll actually become a fluent and entertaining conversationalist in this new language. But in the great democracies, when your party suffers a humiliating defeat (and that’s what it is, despite all the brave faces) someone has to pay.

Oops, forgot – that’s what all those smaller left wing (extremist) parties are there for…

*The designation of ‘extreme’ it seems is a one-way street. Stick a hammer and sickle up and you’re rightly labeled as extreme – talk about grabbing rifles and marching on Rome makes you the Lega.